How to Find an Accountability Partner

Wondering how to find an accountability buddy to hold you to your goals? Follow these 5 steps

Why is it so much easier to let ourselves down than letting others down? It can be tough to stick to a new habit, especially if you're working on it alone.  An accountability buddy can encourage you, and make it much easier to stay on track and motivated to succeed.

Gretchen Rubin, author of “Better Than Before,” (a book about forming healthy habits) says that having accountability is very important when it comes to making and breaking habits. Whether you're working on a personal goal or a professional one, an accountability partner can help you stay on track and motivated. And if you happen to slip up, your accountability partner will be there to help you get back on track. 

But how do you go about finding one of these partners? And what should you look for in them?

5 Steps to finding an accountability partner:

1. Determine what you want to work on.

Determine what area of your life you want to work on. It could be prioritizing  self-care, waking up earlier, fitness, eating healthier, cleaning, making appointments, staying hydrated and everything else in between. Once you know what area you want to focus on, you can start looking for someone who will be a good fit as your accountability buddy.

2. Choose someone who is supportive, and who you respect.

Your accountability buddy should be someone who is supportive and understanding, but will also keep you motivated. Avoid choosing someone who is judgmental or critical, as this will only make it harder for you to reach your goals. Research from Dr. BJ Fogg (who runs the Behavior Lab at Stanford) has shown that when you feel shame, you are less likely to stick to your habits, long term. Dr. Fogg’s work has shown that feeling successful / positive emotions are key to locking in your habits. You might be able to find someone through your own network of friends and family, or you could find a real-human accountability buddy or an A.I. buddy through a service like Shelpful (shelpful.com)

3. Make sure they are reliable.

Reliability is key when choosing an accountability buddy. You need to be able to rely on them to show up when they say they will and to follow through on their commitments. If they are not reliable, it will be difficult for you to stay on track with your own goals.

4. Find someone who has similar goals.

It can be helpful to find a group of people with similar goals to you. This way, you can all help and support each other as you work towards your goals. Sometimes, you can find groups by looking or posting on Reddit (here are a few subreddits on Accountability: get motivated buddies, accountability partnerships) or asking in Facebook groups (here are a few Accountability Groups on Facebook: accountability buddies, accountability partners). 

You search for a Facebook group that has a theme related to your goal, like “peloton moms - San Francisco” or “mindful eating” and write a post to the members in there to form a group. We have been told by our customers that Shelpful has been the fastest way to find group or individual accountability partners. You can try an A.I. buddy to hold you to your pursuits (pinging you to do things, keeping track of tasks you need to do, etc.)  browse or request Shelpful groups (which come with a coach) or sign up for 1-on-1 support from a “Shelper” (accountability coach).

5. Communicate your needs.

Once you’ve found someone who meets all of the above criteria, it’s time to set some ground rules. Decide how often you want check ins, and what method of communication you will use (e-mail, text, phone call, etc.). You should also decide what information you are comfortable sharing with each other, and decide whether you'll be sharing photos or screenshots for evidence of completed habits or tasks-in-progress.

Life is HARD and we all deserve more support. A real-human person who cares about your goals, and  the little things in a day can transform how you think about goals. Accountability partners can provide us with a sense of support as we work to live our best lives. They can help remind you that you’re not alone on your journey. 

If you haven’t yet found an accountability partner, it’s time to take the plunge. Reach out to your network of friends, family, or colleagues and see if anyone might be interested in joining forces with you to achieve common goals. You may be surprised at how many people want to help but just need a little nudge in the right direction. If you want a shortcut, we at shelpful are always happy to answer Qs — ping us on Instagram!

What have you got to lose? Start today by thinking through what you may want to work on with an accountability partner and let us know how it goes!